Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Our Misscarriage Story

We found out we were pregnant December 18th around 10pm, it was confirmed with our first beta 12/19 with 107.7 hcg level. We were over the moon excited! We went back for our repeat beta on 12/21. Hcg was now 287. It was amazing to know that everything was going so well!

December 26th started the worst journey of my life. I started spotting so I called my doctor and she wanted to see me right away. She drew my blood and I had an internal ultrasound done. It did not look good at all, there was a blood trail to one of the two embryos that had implanted. The other one was so much smaller then the one that was exiting, they wanted to monitor me closely and told me to come back in 2 days and they put me on 2500iu of hcg every 3 days, My Hcg level that day was 3800. I went home and laid in bed the rest of the day, the bleeding calmed down which made me feel better. Thursday I started passing large amounts of tissue and bleeding heavily, I called the nurse and she told me that didn't sound good. I knew it was all over at that point. I just had a gut instinct.  I went back on that Friday. They drew my blood again and gave me another ultrasound. My hcg level dropped to 2300. They still had hope about the second "baby" so they wanted me to come back on Monday the 28th. On Monday they could see that where the second baby was, there was blood all around its location. We defiantly knew at that point this pregnancy would not last. That day the bleeding just got worse and it stayed that way till the next morning, where I was passing extremely large amounts of tissue and heavily bleeding non stop. Today 1/2/13 as I sit here and tell you my story, I am still suffering the emotional and physical toll a miscarriage takes on a person. We waited for so long to get our miracle, it finally came and then it was ripped away from us! I feel like I did something wrong, even though in the back of my mind I know that I did everything I could. I quit smoking in August, I quit drinking caffeine, I started drinking water (which I hate so much), I took all the medicine I was told to including all my vitamins. I was getting shots every 3 days and I took those like a champ and yet we still lost both of our "babies." I can only hope that the next time we do an FET we will get pregnant and everything will work out. I have to hold on to hope or else I think I might crumble. Hopefully I will have better news in a few weeks or so.

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