This post is going to be short. Not much happened this week. I had a follow up doctors appointment on Thursday 1/17/13. I had an ultrasound done, and everything seems to be going back to "normal." My blood work came back today and I'm at 3.9. If I could write that number so it had more emphasis I would!! How frustrating!!! I have to go back AGAIN next week for another round of blood work because they have to follow it down to 2.9 (which is confirmed) I know before I said I thought it was 2.5 but I was wrong. So yeah a whopping 1 point. But hey, lets look on the bright side, I love the people at the clinic I go to and after next week I wont get to see them until march (I think). These people really care about me and how I'm doing, mentally and physically. They really understand me and what I'm going through.
I have been feeling more like "myself" as of late. I'm still emotional at some points. I really dont want to look a pregnant people, or share in anyone's joy at the moment. That may seem selfish but I can't care about others at this point. I really need to focus on me and getting me back to where I can function in a normal setting with out getting upset with "baby talk." What has happened to me and many other women/couples is not uncommon and I know I'm not alone, but I need to just deal in the way I know how and that feels right for me.
I'm hoping once I get my monthly cycle it will trigger something in my brain that will allow me to not be upset or angry or ask why me anymore.Once I get my cycle we just have to wait till the next one before we can try again, I think it will give me something to look forward to, I'm also hoping it will give me some sort of freedom from my own thoughts, I feel stuck at this point.